


Bittersweet Chocolate

by JayJae



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader-Insert, Undertale AU, fellswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 20:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20730212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayJae/pseuds/JayJae
Summary: Rus has been avoiding her for a while... Why? You want to find the answer, but do you really want to know?





	Bittersweet Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a friend and I thought I'd share with you guys! >w<

You’re certain you saw him come this way. He’s been avoiding you. You don’t know why. Was it something you said? Something you did? Did he just hate you? You just want to know why. The last time you two were together, things seemed to be okay. He was laughing, joking as he usually does. Now? It’s like he’s been nothing but a ghost to you. You just wanted to see if everything was okay with between you and Rus. 

Perhaps coming down this alleyway was a bad idea. With how late it is now, and you’re all alone, you’re reminded of those horrible scenes in movies where the girl gets assaulted by men lurking in the shadows. Every little sound makes you jump. The streetlights in the distance flicker and blink weakly. The surrounding darkness scares you, as if it’s looking into the pure unknown. This street is cracked, broken, uncared for. You try to push yourself more, searching for him, but see no signs.   
Something behind you moves and knocks over trash bins. You immediately crouch down, cover your head and shut your eyes tight, expecting the worse.

“Rus!” You cry, feeling your bones shake. Cold tears burn in your eyes and you cannot move. Your muscles are tense, unable to move even if you want to. He never came. He never showed up. But you knew he was here. Now you’re sobbing. 

Why did you think this was a good idea? This was all stupid. A very stupid thing to do. Can you even go back safely right now? What if you just got lucky getting this far and there’s worse to come? Rus never showed... He has to hate you. He was pretending to be your friend this entire time. He-

“Hey, kitten.” You weakly look up, seeing his familiar golden fangs glinting in the light. There’s shadows under his eye sockets and his eye lights are dim. You you lock eyes, he’s quick to avert your stare, frowning at the ground. “I-um... Are you okay?”

“I-I’m...” You stammer and sniffle. He sighs and runs a hand over his skull.

“No... Course you’re not... Stars...” He grumbles. You want to curl up in a ball. You want to be as small as possible. You want to be anywhere but here. You shut your eyes again. Just looking at him is breaking your heart. You aren’t even sure if you should say something. All you want to do is cry. 

“Kitten, I’m... Look, I... Ugh...” He sighs again and the light changes. It’s dimmer. You feel him hovering over you. Then, something large and soft is draped over your shoulders. You open your eyes. It’s his jacket, which swallows you whole. “Let’s get you outta here.” You can only nod.

You’re in his apartment now. It’s cluttered with junk, trash and a few of his clothes. It’s mostly just trash thought. Piles of paper and heaps of food wrappers. This was just his living room too. It’s small, but with the added junk, it feels even smaller. Luckily, he’s seated you in his kitchen/dining room, which is a little more cleaner, thankfully. You’re curled up on the chair, with a cup of hot chocolate in your hands. Rus made it with water, which makes the taste seem off, but judging the current state of his home now, you’re afraid to know what’s in his fridge. 

He’s trying to clear off the couch, but it’s proving to be a chore. You see him look through old stacks of mail, some ruined by the trash. He’s getting frustrated and ends up dragging everything off the couch and onto the floor.

“Sorry for the mess, kitten...” He mumbles. “I woulda had it cleaner if I...” His jaw clenches and he stares hard into the floor. Or, what little of it can be seen. He scratches his skull and approaches you slowly, as if you were a deer. “I’m... I’m kinda...”

“You don’t like me, do you...?” You manage to mumble. Maybe it’s because you’re getting tired, but your filter is gone. You want answers, but you aren’t sure if you really want to hear them. 

“What? No, that’s not it at all kitten!” He cries. “It’s... It’s... God, c’mon Rus...” He curses under his breath and presses his face into his hands. “It’s the opposite, really. But I’m...” Wait, is he saying what you think he’s saying? No, it can’t possibly be. Why would he be avoiding you, then?

“I’m annoying, aren’t I? I bother you a lot and I get clingy...” 

“No, you’re not!” Rus throws his arms down and practically yells at you, making you jolt and almost spilling your drink. “Hell, kitten, if anyone’s clingy, it’s me! Fuck, that’s why I’ve been... I’m not good enough for you.” He sighs. “You deserve someone better than me. You’re way too sweet, and you’re just... You’re so good to me. You’re just... pretty fucking perfect and I’m nothing compared to you.”

“That’s not true!” You cry out. Rus opens his arms.

“Look around you! I’ve surrounded myself in trash! Hazards to you! Hell, you wouldn’t come in here if I hadn’t carry you here! I did this to myself! I’m the one who just  _ had _ to wallow in self-pity and just accept the fact I’m never going to be good enough for you!”

“I’ve never said you’re not good enough for me! I like you! Why do you think I spend so much time with you?! I think you’re funny and sweet and-”

“I ain’t like that kitten. You know what I’ve done in the Underground. I ain’t sweet. I’m a  _ monster. A fucking, damned monster _ .”

“You only had to in order to survive!”

Both of you are in tears. Both of you are breaking each other’s hearts, hearing one another’s cries of pain and agony. Rus has scars, physical, emotional and mental. You have your own problems, but you two were once getting better, supporting each other. Now, it feels as though that all backfired. That both of you were just lying to the other, because you felt pity for the other. And now, here you two are, shouting things until you lose your voice or succumb to your sobs that built up in your chest.

Finally, when the peace settles, Rus is sitting across from you, staring blankly at the table. He still can’t bring himself to look at you. You can’t look at him right now either. Seeing his scars would remind you of how horrible it was down in the Underground. How unfair Rus was treated. How everyone was treated. You set your now empty mug of hot chocolate on the table and stare at the mug for a change. Slowly, you see Rus’ hand gently take one of your hands into his. 

“I don’t want to feel like this anymore...” His voice is hoarse, tired. “I don’t want to depend on you to be happy, but I need you... You have been the only one who can help me find the light in this darkness in my head.” He squeezes your hand. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry... I don’t want to do this again. I want to get better, but I don’t know how... I’m sorry...” Hearing his voice crack into soft sobs makes your heart fall into your stomach. You get up, walk to him and open your arms to hug him, but he pulls you in first. He nuzzles his face into your shoulder and his back shakes with every muffled sob that escapes from his ribs. So you stayed in his arms, as he stayed in yours for the rest of the night. 


End file.
